HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
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 She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
 She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT. 
 She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
 She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
 She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

 She is not CONCEITED -  She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
 She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
 She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
 She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
 She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

 She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
 She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
 She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
 She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
 She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

 She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
 She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
 She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
 She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
 She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

 She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
 She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
 She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
 She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
 She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.