1. Section 1994 - 1996
Date: Fri, September 20, 1995
Subj.: FEAR !
Renee, Brian and Tom started discussing FEAR in their contribution to the Project MEMORIES. Reading their explanations made me really reflecting what would I have to write about the FEAR.
First, it occurred to me immediately that I have learned too many aspects of the FEAR during my life long experience. So, I have remembered the fear when my primary school teacher accused me of whistling during a Commemorative movie performance in 1934. The assassination of Alexander I. (a Serb and King of Yugoslavia) in Marseilles (France) was the main topic in that particular movie. I don't want writing about the few traumatic experiences I got as a 9 years boy. However, the truth was that I was sick resting in bed at home on that specific day. I'm afraid that my later fears have been more forcible and weighty. They also have been much more assailable to body and spirit though.
Then, as the second thought, it occurred to me there is much more of importance and significance in the topic: FEAR. I believe that the young readers could learn more and get better perception of the many faces of FEAR from MEMORIES' Panel of Elders too. They might be better prepared for the many variances and issues of fear which might befall them in future. Therefore, I have decided not to write about any particular of my personal fears this time. Instead,
I intend proposing several themes about the FEAR to the Panel of Elders who would voice their remembrances and opinions about.
I'm afraid having to say that the youth has little apprehension about what are the fears alike. In general, the youngsters have to learn fearing from their own experience in the hard way. The Elders could provide them with some protection to a certain extend only. We may give them much through education and by building up a premonition system for definite dangers. Thus we may
cautioning them of events causing deplorable fears. What we shouldn't incite is a kind of "romanticizing" of personally experienced fears.
Nevertheless to the above, I would like writing about the FEAR of a 6 year old orphan girl from Bosnia. Her given name is Emira because she lost her parents during the forced exodus from Srebrenica (East Bosnia) sometime in 1993. Emira lives in one of the orphanages for Bosnian children in Croatia now. The humanitarian organization "Farmers Help Farmers" (FHF) in nearby Groedig community, County of Salzburg, has been rather active since 1991. The war in Croatia started mid 1991 extending over to Bosnia & Herzegovina in 1992. The good ladies from "FHF" went to Croatia past summer bringing a busload of the orphans with them here. The orphans have spent few weeks living in Groedig's parsonage. During a day, children stayed at farmer's homes, made short trips into surroundings and visited the zoo-garden in Hellbrunn too. Several orphans were invited by Bosnia families to live with them in their homes. This in particular by those who came from the same regions as refugees in 1992 already. So, Emira stayed few days with children in a family from Bijeljina. This family came here as victims of so called "ethnic cleansing" too.
Emira was at the kitchen waiting with two children for their mother who was preparing the lunch for all of them. Mother took the ready meat from an oven and reached for a knife from a drawer. Emira's eyes went wide open of fear and she just could mutter so much as: "Please, please put THAT thing away!" - Mother, a little bit baffled asked: "Emira, why are you so much distressed about me using a knife?" - Probably the same moment, she asked a dreadful foreboding thought
Passed her mind too. She had to control herself instantly and replied Emira in her most soothing voice: "Emira, don't worry about me using a knife. I have to use it for slicing the meat for us to eat. Please." - Emira went quite instantly, turning her eyes away said silently: "Yes, mama, be very careful with it please. Tell me when you had it put away." - Can you assume what for was Emira's fear? What an ugly and abhorrent face must have had Emira's fear seeing a knife?
I warrant for Emira's story. How many thousands of children would be aware of similar traumatic fears or keep many of these in their subconscious all life long? Now, the old CROATIAN SOLDIER must stop writing otherwise his gall will spill over with bitterness and sadness that.