Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a
desert.  Congress said "someone may steal from it at night."  So they
created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.
 
Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without
instruction?"  So they created a planning department and hired two
people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time
studies.
 
Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the 
tasks correctly?"  So they created a Quality Control department and
hired two people.  One to do the studies and one to write the reports.
 
Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?"  So they
created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer,
then hired two people.
 
Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an
Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal
Secretary.
 
Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year
and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."
 
So they laid off the night watchman. 
 
-------------------------------------
 
 
A major research institution has recently announced the
discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to
science. The new element has been tentatively named
Governmentium.
 
Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75
deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it  
an atomic mass of 312.
 
These 312 particles are held together by forces called 
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-
like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no
electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it
impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A 
minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to
take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take
less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not
decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a 
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually
increase over time, since each reorganization will cause 
some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. 

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists
to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons
reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.